Breaking down Break Ups
With Valentine’s day coming up around the corner, many are thriving in relationships; buying candied hearts and big teddy bears. On the other hand, some people are going through rough patches when it comes to love. Whether they are the dumper or the dumpee, everyone can agree that breakups hurt. So… how does one get through them? It all starts with how the initial breakup goes. If you are the one breaking up with your partner, do it in person. It may be hard, but in the long run everyone will benefit. Next, be honest about why the relationship is ending. Don’t sugarcoat the problem. Another key part: the location. Pick a place that can be quickly left and that is not too far from home. A driveway is a great place to end a relationship because both can easily leave after all is said and done.
After the initial breakup is over, spend a few days processing what happened. You can tell your close friends, but avoid going into detail about your breakup with everyone you meet. Once both parties have had time to think over how they feel, meet up or facetime to gain closure. At this point you also need to decide if this relationship can continue on to friendship. If the answer is no, then it’s time to move on. In this scenario, deleting photos of the person that you have posted online should be held off for a while. Too much change immediately can cause drama.
According to a study written by Time magazine, “people were told to read and believe statements of acceptance, like “It’s ok to love someone I’m no longer with.” Instead of fighting how they feel, they were told to accept their feelings of love as perfectly normal without judgment.”
When all is said and done, it is important to distance yourself from the person for a short while. It would be practically impossible to get rid of emotions when you are surrounded by your ex. Sometimes, people with broken hearts blame themselves for what happened. They may get really down on themselves. If you find this happening to you, remind yourself of your good qualities. This is also a time to remind yourself of what you love. Whether it’s visiting new places or going to a concert, do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while. This is the time for a change, a time to experience what you haven’t been able to.